Jimmy Shand and Me

AccordionWhen I was eleven years old I rolled on a carpet

I rolled on a carpet with my big brother

With my big brother throwing punches at me

Throwing punches at me for not being Scottish enough

Not being Scottish enough to appreciate New Year

To appreciate New Year, Black Bun and Jimmy Shand

Black Bun and Jimmy Shand rammed down my throat

Rammed down my throat like The White Heather Club

The White Heather Club that didn’t actually exist

That didn’t actually exist except on the telly

Except on the telly where it still didn’t exist

It still didn’t exist, same as the fake first-footer

The fake first-footer that was always someone you knew

Always someone you knew who was tall and a male with black hair

A male with black hair who knew how to carry coal.

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One comment on “Jimmy Shand and Me

  1. Wow! Now THIS I like a whole lot.

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