I composed the following classifieds when sober and, it appears, in desperation:

Well built male (50-ish) seeks female (30 to 35) for sexy times.

Still dashing gentleman (55 to 60) seeks female (40 to 45) for fine dining and holiday fun.

Romantic and loyal gentleman (60+) seeks female (55 to 60) for romance and future togetherness.

Charming old fool (70 or thereabouts) seeks female (any age considered) for companionship.

However –

I composed my definitive classified whilst sipping a long cool gin:

Geriatric male (80 to 85) seeks female fitness instructor (20 to 25) for quiet nights in.


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