Mary had a little lamb –
So affectionate was he,
’til Daddy cut his throat
and had him for his tea.
Oh well, thought little Mary,
a goat I could pet too,
But Daddy chopped him up as well
and put him in his stew.
Then she had a pony –
a proper little winner,
‘cept Daddy turned his insides out
and cooked them for his dinner.
Next she tried a little cat –
she loved to hear it purr,
Daddy put it in his soup as stock –
well, what else would it be for.
At last, she thought, I’ll have a dog –
they say it’s man’s best friend,
and Daddy really loved the beast –
tasty to the end.
Mary gave up having pets that night
and shot her awful Dad,
who, with careful seasoning,
tasted not too bad.